Sovereignty: The Keystone of Motherly Empowerment
Finding Strength in Self-Governance
The Essence of Sovereignty at its core, is about self-governance and autonomy. It’s a powerful concept that can be transformative, especially for pregnant or postnatal mothers. This period of life is one of profound change and vulnerability, where a sense of control often feels elusive. Sovereignty is about reclaiming this control and empowering oneself to make decisions that align with personal values and needs.
1. Why Does Sovereignty Matter?
Brief overview
Sovereignty is all about keeping oneself safe. Most most articles discuss sovereignty more from the prospective of one’s rites, entitlements or standing and although, these are important in keeping us safe in the external world this article will focus more on the biological aspects of sovereignty. So when we think about biological sovereignty we must understand that for us to have definition and form there needs to be a boundary or barrier. The natural boundaries are formed at the cellular level. Here we have the cell wall – in plants it is very rigid and in humans it is very soft. The cell wall job is to ensure that everything inside the cell is safe by keeping harmful out. But for us to live food and oxygen and byproducts of the cells functioning needs to pass across the barrier. So the barrier is not isn’t impermeable. This is both a weakness and a strength. What keeps us safe is that the cell wall is highly responsive to changes and should something happen those automatic responses instantly kick in. Thus you biological sovereignty is measured in your body’s capacity to maintain its boundary not just for your safety and survival but also for your expansion and thriving.
Biological sovereignty also can be extended to include mental and emotional boundaries because research shows that chronic mental and emotional distress results in illness. So how does the boundary get breached in situations of chronic stress? I mentioned earlier that the cell wall is permeable. There are holes through with O2, CO2, food and waste products pass. Those holes are governed by electrical or ionic charges. It might surprise you that “we are not solid beings” although we might like to think we are rather, we are particles all held together by electrical charges. Thus, any disruption to those charges can result in leakage of fluid into and out from the cell. This leakage may be only tiny but it is enough to activate the body’s survival mechanisms. However, when the body allocates much of its resources to surviving it pulls resources away from those cells that would be resting, repairing and regenerating. This means no energy and cells start to die.
Moreover, the need for us being sovereign is not restricted just for ourselves alone as research shows the effects of chronic stress can be passed onto future generations. There are many diseases such as, heart conditions, diabetes, anxiety disorder, mental illnesses, etc., that have been directly linked to chronic distress resulting from war, ever-changing environments, domestic violence, etc.
“Embrace the cell’s wisdom—boundaries are not barriers but the sacred contours within which life’s dance of growth and healing unfolds.”
Why Sovereignty Matters for Mothers
Sovereignty is important for our safety. For us to be safe we must have the capacity to make powerful decisions, manage our emotions and ensure our boundaries are well managed.
1. Decision Making Power
Pregnancy and motherhood come with an avalanche of advice, often unsolicited.This can be confusing given that there is so much to decipher from. Pregnancy heightens the emotional filters and can be especially challenging for those women that are a little unsure or if they had a difficult pregnancy before. Heightened emotions can have the effect of putting a mother onto high alert so that any doubt can trigger her into panicky feelings. If a mother isn’t able to self-regulate easily then it becomes hard to listen to that wise inner voice inside. Sovereignty means having the confidence and authority to choose what’s best for you and your baby, based on your unique circumstances and beliefs.
2. Emotional Autonomy
Sovereignty is also about emotional independence. It’s the freedom to express and process your emotions without judgment, understanding that your feelings are valid and important. Mothers as a whole, have been conditioned to believe that they must put other people needs before themselves and especially with regards to her children. Many women have grown up on cultures where women do not have the same standing as men and so, they have learnt that in order to stay safe they must “earn their value.” This can put women in a persistent state of feeling unsafe because if her priority is to have children and bring them up this puts her in direct conflict with her desires and wants for herself. Not only is there a real possibility for conflict within the family dynamic but there is also an inner conflict. A strategy for war is to surround your opponent as fighting on more than one frontier means the opponent strength is halved.
3. Creating Boundaries
Sovereignty involves setting healthy boundaries. This means learning to say no to what doesn’t serve you or your baby, and yes to what nurtures and supports your wellbeing. Unfortunately historically, many mothers have been conditioned to believe that they must put other people needs before themselves and especially with regards to her children. Many women have grown up on cultures where women do not have the same standing as men and so, they have learnt that in order to stay safe they must “earn their value.” Thus when she want to follow her dreams and desires she is put into direct conflict with “her job” of prioritising her family and home life. However, it is not just this external family dynamic in play but is also, the inner conflict driven by her Inner Critic and its supportive helpers, including the Inner Patriarch. A strategy for winning a war is to surround your opponent so that it is fighting on more than one frontier. The moment our resources are stretched to the hilt chaos will ensue. By regulating your nervous system it will help to keep your Inner Critic and its accomplices at bay.
“Sovereignty in motherhood is the art of turning whispers of intuition into the anthems of your life’s decisions, harmonizing with the melody of your own values and needs.”
Client Story
Recently I had a 2nd time pregnancy client ask for my help in managing her racing mind. She had tried having therapy before but she wasn’t really able to engage with her previous counsellors. In that first session I realised that we needed to regulate her autonomic nervous system (ANS) as it was like she was this “gazelle waiting to flee at any moment”. She told me that doing any sort of slow meditative practice just too unsettling – too frightening. She had had plenty of trauma in her life and so, she needed a different approach to engage with the therapy. I focused on using somatic metaphor techniques to help her begin to develop a different form of communication with her body. The goal was to have her learn how to “rest comfortably into the feelings” and allow those feelings to dissipate. The moment she experienced the deep relaxation for the very first time it opened a new possibility for herself and she was able to engage with her therapy for the first time. Her journey was not a straight path but with each backward step she was able to use the learning to catapult her forward. I am happy to say that her ability to gently hold herself in situations which otherwise would have floored her has been a truly remarkable transformation.
Common Challenges to Sovereignty during pregnancy and postnatal periods
- Physical and Hormonal Changes:
- Your body is changing dramatically to accommodate and support your baby. The physical and hormonal changes during pregnancy and after childbirth can affect a your mental and emotional state, potentially impacting your sense of control and autonomy. Often, first-time working mum struggle because they don’t have supportive networks and it can get to be rather lonely. You often have to learn to ask for your needs to be met in new ways that you would never have needed to have done before. It is a learning process.
- External Pressures and Expectations:
- As mentioned earlier your exposure to the societal, cultural, and familial expectations can create immense pressure. This makes it hard for mothers to prioritize their own needs and beliefs. Learning to shift perspectives is going to be crucial her without losing the connection. Most mothers would rather loose themselves than lose connection.
- External Pressures and Expectations:
- As mentioned earlier your exposure to the societal, cultural, and familial expectations can create immense pressure. This makes it hard for mothers to prioritize their own needs and beliefs. Learning to shift perspectives is going to be crucial her without losing the connection. Most mothers would rather loose themselves than lose connection.
- Information Overload:
- In our rapid fast data driven world there is so much information available to us, both online and offline that it can be overwhelming. Everyone is putting their points of view across which can often be conflicting. The confusion makes it difficulty to have informed choices with which to make good decisions.
- Mental Health Issues:
- Hormonal fluctuations heighten emotional issues which if you are already having some mental health challenges may precipitate conditions such as postpartum depression or anxiety that are significant barriers to feeling empowered and sovereign.
- Financial Stress:
- If there are financial constraints this can be incredibly challenging to feel safe as one’s choices are limited. The uncertainty that these limited choices often results in feelings of distress. If not addressed stress can seriously diminished your cognitive functioning making it even harder to exercise sovereignty in decisions related to yours and your baby’s care and lifestyle.
- Time Management:
- The demands of motherhood are high, especially if you are balancing work or other children. Having no time for yourself means that you don’t get to process everything that is going on in a good way. It may work for a while but eventually it will wear you down. Learning to set boundaries are imperative. You need for self-reflection and self-care. You need to have moment to rest, rebuild and repair so that you can RESET and REBOOT. Keeping the charge is an essential components of sovereignty.
- Identity Shift:
- Many first-time experience a complete identity shift and role transition. You have to change in order to take on a new role in life. As in all change there is this moment of incredible vulnerability which can lead to your sense of self disappearing which can impacting your ability to stand in your sovereignty. This discomfort is temporary and once you have done a rejig you will be gin to get comfortable again only this time there is a greater more expansion of you.
- Guilt and Perfectionism:
- Earlier I mentioned that cultural expectations of mothers that they be a ‘perfect’ mother can lead to feelings of guilt and the pressure. Women will do whatever they can to stay connected, even to their detriment. So a woman is not making choices stemming from her inner wisdom they are based on societal standards. I have learnt that if we don’t listen to our own wisdom we will make a grave mistake. Anything that tell you that’s you should be something – let those alarm bells ring loudly so that you don’t listen to them. Your mind sovereignty is crucial for a happy life
- Physical Recovery post-childbirth:
- Unless you had a very short labour most births take time to ready your body for the final stage of bringing you baby into the world. Birth uses a lot of energy. If it was a long birth exhaustion is normal but so many women do not rest and allow the repairs to happen. Preparation for birth is what supports you afterwards because now things are in place, you let go the hook and enjoy your recovery.
- Navigating Relationships:
- Many first time mums may have challenges around relationships. Often because of the demands of your baby taking up so much of your time that your partner or others close to you miss out. Many new mums don’t know how to appropriately organise and delegate and so they can get overwhelmed. Learning to notice the emotional cues and lean into those difficult conversation can offer you a greater sense of autonomy and control.
Practical Steps to make those Shifts into Sovereignty
“In the symphony of life, let your inner voice be the conductor, guiding you through the crescendos of pregnancy and the quiet refrains of postnatal peace.”
- Self-Awareness:
- Develop an awareness for what is happening. Only once we have insight into what is going on can we set an intention of change.
- Self-Reflection:
- Take time to understand your values, needs, and boundaries. What is useful is to write down things that will make you happy. If there are things that you want to ask from others write those things down too. Then if have put say HAPPINESS then ask yourself how does having this, doing this make me happy – what does it bring. Does that this type of happiness last and sustain you or is it fleeting. This self-awareness is the foundation of sovereignty.
- Seek Support:
- Sovereignty doesn’t mean going it alone. It’s about choosing the right kind of support that respects and empowers your autonomy.
- Educate Yourself:
- Knowledge is power. Understanding your body, your baby’s development, and your options can help you make informed decisions.
- Practice Mindfulness:
- Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and centred, even amidst the chaos of motherhood.
Conclusion
Sovereignty is a journey, not a destination. It’s about continually evolving and adapting as you move through different stages of motherhood. Embrace this journey with compassion and patience, knowing that each step brings you closer to a place of empowerment and peace.
To Consider….
If this article resonates and you are experiencing pregnancy related challenges maybe I can help. Book yourself in for a FREE introductory chat. In that session we can start exploring what you want and how I can help you you to achieve that outcome. We need to know where are your potential blocks (your biggest gaps) and what is in season to work with right now. Timing is everything and pregnancy is a time when we can do magnificent work together to help you make the biggest difference for you in attaining your outcome.
If you are ready I would love to support you on your journey.
I would also deeply appreciate if you could like and share this article on your social media.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Question: Why is the concept of sovereignty particularly relevant for pregnant or postnatal mothers?
- Answer: Sovereignty is crucial during the significant transitions of pregnancy and postpartum because it encompasses self-governance and autonomy. Mothers are often subject to external advice and societal expectations. Sovereignty empowers them to make informed decisions that resonate with their own values and needs, thereby enhancing their and their baby’s well-being.
- Question: How does biological sovereignty relate to mental and emotional health?
- Answer: Biological sovereignty isn’t limited to physical health; it includes mental and emotional boundaries. Long-term mental and emotional stress can lead to physical illness because it disrupts the body’s electrical charges and homeostasis. By maintaining sovereignty, mothers can protect their mental and emotional health, which is intrinsically linked to their physical well-being.
- Question: What role does setting boundaries play in a mother’s sovereignty?
- Answer: Setting boundaries is a key aspect of sovereignty. It involves saying ‘no’ to what doesn’t serve the mother or the baby, and ‘yes’ to what supports their health and happiness. It helps mothers manage external pressures and maintain autonomy over their family life, personal aspirations, and the pervasive inner critic.
- Question: Can you share a success story of someone who achieved sovereignty during their pregnancy?
- Answer: Yes, there was a second-time pregnant client who struggled with racing thoughts and was unable to engage with previous counsellors. Through somatic metaphor techniques, she learned to rest comfortably with her feelings and dissipate them. This deep relaxation marked a significant step in her journey towards sovereignty, enabling her to manage situations that previously overwhelmed her.
- Question: What are some practical steps mothers can take to achieve sovereignty?
- Answer: Practical steps towards sovereignty include developing self-awareness to understand what’s happening internally, engaging in self-reflection to clarify personal values and needs, seeking supportive networks that respect autonomy, educating oneself about pregnancy and baby’s development, and practicing mindfulness to remain grounded and centered amidst the chaos of motherhood.
General FAQ
If you have any questions, feedback, or need further assistance, you can easily message me through the contact form on my website. I strive to respond promptly to all inquiries and look forward to connecting with you!
How can I message you?
If you have any questions, feedback, or need further assistance, you can easily message me through the contact form on my website. I strive to respond promptly to all inquiries and look forward to connecting with you!
What services do you offer?
As a Pregnancy and Infertility coach, I specialize in helping professional women to navigate the challenges they experience on their pregnancy journey. I help them reclaim back control by provide them with a safe, non-judgmental space where they can openly express their feelings, fears, frustrations and be empowered to confidently create a safe, nurturing and loving environment for themselves and their unborn child.
My passion lies in empowering women to effect sustainable, positive changes in their lives. To achieve this, I employ a diverse range of transformational tools that help in the release of trauma, PTSD, grief, and loss, particularly those stemming from their primary mother wound. Together, we embark on a journey of growth and healing, inspiring each individual to find solutions that ensure a healthier and more fulfilling pregnancy experience.
Can anyone benefit from your coaching programs?
Absolutely! While my specialization is in tailored to working with professional women who are focused on issues surrounding pregnancy the primary trauma that most women experience is a the collect mother wound. My coaching programs and healing books are designed to benefit any individual, especially women, seeking to overcome trauma, heal deep wounds, and create a positive impact on their lives.
How can I access your trauma healing books?
You can access my trauma healing books, Amazon’s number one best-selling authors, through various platforms, including Amazon Kindle, paperback, and other online bookstores. Additionally, you may find links to these books on my website, making it convenient for you to explore and purchase them.
Using Conscious Pregnancy a Pathway to Sovereignty
A holistic approach is always going to be the best approach in treating anyone whether their goal is to heal or to evolve. Every decision we make is influenced by our emotions. Emotions are the physical or embodied part of our feeling or thoughts. Our brain tries to make sense of our sensations and feelings things by giving them labels. We do this because it is a quick way of accessing information. Therefore we need to have our body and mind working together in harmony. This is what I do. Together we create the right physical and mental environment to focus on the outcome that you want. We will look at things like regulating your diet, sleep, activities, etc. so that you can experience feeling of being more in control and living more joyously.
Are your coaching programs tailored for specific individuals?
Yes, my coaching programs are personalized to cater to the unique needs and goals of each individual. Whether you a want coaching for reasons such as improving relationships, spiritual connection, optimising health or seeking healing from the Mother Wound, I will work closely with you to design a program that aligns with your desires and aspirations and which will result in personal growth.
How can I stay updated on your offerings and events?
To stay informed about my coaching programs, trauma healing books, and upcoming events, you can subscribe to my newsletter on the website. By joining the mailing list, you’ll receive regular updates, exclusive content, and early access to any new releases or offerings.
Note:
Content and imaging co-created with myself and opensource AI technology
