“It is better to perform your own dharma badly than to perform the dharma of another perfectly”

Lord Krishna teachings (Bhagavad-Gita: Chapter 18, Verse 47)

Sudden changes that force us to move outside our “comfort zone” should be greatly welcomed and not something to be frightened of.  Think of these changes as being our soul calling us….reminding us that we must fulfill our unique purpose.

Unfortunately, this can be challenging as we are not given guidance on what our purpose is which can cause a huge amount of confusion and angst. Also, we might even find out that our purpose may not be what we think it is and we could be actually fulfilling someone elese’s purpose and therefore, not our own. Nevertheless, despite these difficulties, we are reminded that the only obligation that our soul seems to require of us is that we find out what our purpose is – and then to do it.

Now, I apprecialte that some of you might not subscribe to a life’s purpose never mind living some else’s purpose or dharma. But, if you are experience any of these signposts then you just be doing that:

  • Constantly experiencing the fear of missing out (FROMO) on things, needing to be the same as others. More common in young adolescents that are subjected to intense social pressures and whom have a great need to fit in – but not exclusively as this is also can occur in many adults.
  • Worrying about the future and especially believing if you feel your future is running away from you and you feel that you haven’t truly lived yet
  • Experiencing feelings of being over looked, undervalued and denigrated by the people that surround you
  • Seeing other people benefitting from our hard work with no real benefit to yourself.

So how do we begin to fall so easily into living someone else’s purpose. Actually it is very easy to do. We start doing this pattern very early in our lives because we must learn to safely navigate social situations that we are in.

And depending on the types of experiences we have and our temperamental make-up we will have a propensity for certain behaviours that will either, promote us living one’s own purpose or directly doing someone else’s.

Child that are the most adaptable, the one’s that can most easily fit in are usually the one’s that become the caretakers of others. Now, there is nothing wrong with caring for others or being of service to others, however if these children are not encouraged to learn to listen to and act on what their own heart is telling to do when they are conflicted, then these children are the most likely to live another person’s dharma.

So how do we go about noticing when we are in this situation so that we are forced into a change that is unmanageable for us ad which migh cause us a lot of trauma. What we need to do is to develop an intense awareness our inner feelings i.e. when we are conflicted, frustrationed, sad, feeling stuck or virtually any of those negative feeling. When this happens we need to do the following actions:

  • Stop – Whatever we are doing and notice what is going on | Slow Time Down and Breathe
  • Reassess – The way we are thinking, our behaviours and our feelings and see if they are valid – Ask ourselves “Is this really true”?
  • Re-evaluate – Ask ourselves “Is this in alignment with who I AM and who I Want to Be
  • Act – Congruently act upon the information that we are being given

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